Miracles do happen.

Something that I always look forward to is the day we have our own house, family, and travel around while we are still young. I always dream of going to places with you and doing different kinds of activities with you. The thought of it always makes me smile. It is so nice to have someone that shares the same goal with you and we both are working towards it together even if it is a small step. What matters is the process, isn't it?

Up till this day, I am so grateful that we are together. I am thankful to be given a chance to amend things back. I have never regretted to chase you and make things better again. Thank you for entering into my life and always nurturing me. Sometimes, I read those posts you posted back then in our shared account and I always feel grateful that I was able to make you smile again. We met again, and here we are now. You have made me realize to cherish all the little things that are given to me, be it big or small. I shouldn't be greedy with the things I want but instead, trust the process. Do you know, the thought of you always make me smile?

Before I met you, I was a lost kid with no direction. Honestly, I don't know whats the purpose of life. I lost the meaning of love, happiness, and life. It felt like I was forced to live and there were a lot of times I harmed myself and thought of taking my own life. At that point, I do not trust anyone. I didn't know who to believe even though I have great friends. I kept so many things to myself and I always thought of ending my life because I am better off dead. I remembered crying and I shut my phone and thought of just finding a place to end my life. Many people thought I tried to seek for attention, but little do they know how much pain I went through. But, why did I choose to live again?

"Have faith & Keep going"

I saw that quote somewhere. For some reason, it gave me the strength to move forward. Nothing comes easy in life and I knew that this was just a test for me. I persevered. I worked so hard in school, partied all day and night, worked my ass off but to only know that I was not happy even though I was still surviving. So I thought, that was how life was going to be. Thus, I accepted the life I was in. However, miracles do happen, right?

The day I was given a chance to change my life, I failed. I even hurt someone that I loved and that was you. Initially, I did not really understand the feelings I had towards you until you let go of me. It was then I realized, you changed my life so much. It is kind of weird but despite knowing you for a short period of time, I felt so happy talking to you, sending you my stupid videos and pictures and you always listen to me. I did not allow myself to fall in love because of our differences but I also know that was not the life I want to continue too. I took up so much courage to try again. I'm glad you came back.

We have been together for 20 months now and I still have butterflies in my stomach each time we meet. I have never been this happy. Of course, we have little disagreements here and there but my love for you has never once fade or change. You've shaped me to be a better person. You've taught me to be positive. I know I still have some negativity inside me, but it takes time. I am still trying. Nonetheless, you made me the happiest girl on earth.

I suck at showing how much you mean to me. But I hope you know that I always love you, through the good and bad times, you are still the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you Ridwan.

Till then.